This feeling sucks

And every time I think that I am getting over it and I will be fine, it turn out to be totally wrong!
I am tired of ignoring the fact that you are actually gone and at night I cry myself to sleep
I am tired of pretending that I am ok and it doesn't kill me or effect me where its actually drawing all my energy off me
It sucks
This feeling sucks
When you keep it in but you are actually hurting your body
When you let it out but you can't stop it and you end up feeling shit for at least a week
I want you back but you can't come back
I want to follow you to where you are but its not in my hand
See you in my dreams...