I'm scared

I’m scared,

I don't want to meet you but I really need to,
I don't want to face you, after all those years,
I just can't do it...

I’m scared,

Of probably what will happen after,

You asked to meet up,

But it was clear that you don’t have feelings for me,

Then why meeting?
Why asking?

I’m scared,

To face the truth maybe,

The truth that I don’t wanna hear,

That we can’t be with each other,

That you don’t love me anymore,
Or never loved me!

I’m scared,

That you will be neutral,

And I will act neutral,

But my eyes will expose everything,
Show you, how I truly feel towards you,

And this will make you go away...

I’m scared,

That when I first see you,
I'll get all the flashbacks that I spent my whole life ignoring,
That I won't be able to stay in one piece,
And collapse in front of you..

I’m scared,

To fuckin lose you again

I don’t want to,

I want you

Only you

You weren’t here for years

And no one was able to take your place

I was just praying that you will come back
And stay for good this time...